THE KLINGON



AUTHENTIC KLINGON WEDDING

 

You have not lived till you attended a small intergalactic Star Trek Wedding theme.  In 50 years in this game I think I might have seen it all, from nude weddings, to mud hole rallies, high Cardinal Mass in a very famous Cathedral to two people, a Jeep and a Justice of the Peace, a thank you and they drove off to go camping.

Aboard the Enterprise 1701A - William Shatner would be proud. It was a blast, well many blasters, and the Ferengi were the bartenders, the Klingon Groom was scary and the Romulon Bride looking radiant in her costume from two pounds of radiated glitter, as were the guests. 

It brought tears to your eyes when they crossed their bat'leth curved- longsword with four points and handholds on the back. It was designed and created by Star Trek: The Next Generation visual effects producer Dan Curry for the Star Trek franchise.

 

It is mainly used by the Klingons as martial arts-style swords.  Replicas of bat'leths are widely available as collectibles and are used in costuming.   They have been also used in crimes. Debates on the legality of the weapon differs between countries.  You might invest in “KLINGON for DUMMIES” on Amazon for $15.95.  

The JP who officiated was in a Star Trek Academy uniform which was a pair of pajamas with some sewn on patches.  It worked well till the two buttons on the back flap fell off.  Not a pretty sight.

Romulon beer (Budweiser with food coloring) and some very strange looking food prepared by the replicators (Micro waves).  

The Pterodactyl (Turkey) wings done to a crisp in a delightful sauce from the Planet Habaneras near Pente Ruhas was guaranteed to produce some Super Nova’s the next day.  Timed to coincide with a Star Trek event, I had expected to see Spock, Bones and the "I need more time" guy to pop up.

 

KLINGON WEDDING CEREMONY SCRIPT
Lady of House -
  With fire and steel did the gods form the Klingon Heart.  So fiercely did it beat. Loud was the sound that the Gods cried out... "On this day, we have brought forth the strongest heart in all the heavens.

None can stand before it without trembling at its strength".

But then the Klingon heart grew weak, its steady rhythm faltered, and the gods said... "Why have you weakened so? We have made you the strongest in all of creation”.

 

Lady of House - And the gods knew that they have erred, so they went Back to their forge and brought forth... A second Heart.  But the second heart beat stronger than the first, and the first was jealous of its power.  

Fortunately the second heart was tempered by wisdom. Bride: "If we join, no force can stop us” and Swords are given back to sword bearer.   And when the two hearts began to beat together Bride and Groom.

Lady of House - They Filled the Heavens with a terrible sound. For the First time the gods knew fear. They tried to flee, but it was too late...  The Klingon Hearts destroyed the gods who created them and turned the heavens to ashes. And to this day No-one can oppose the beating of two Klingon Hearts... Not even me.